She Makes Dirty Words Sounds Pretty

Pretend to be nothing, we’re fated to pretend.

Yes I am the pretender, true pretender. I’m pretending to smile eventhough inside I’m hurt. I’m pretending to be the most happiest person ever, but actually I’m the one who crying all night long and the next day keep smiling like nothing happen yesterday. But still, it hurts.

I’ve lost my spirit. Today and yesterday and the next day, empty. I have no life since he left me. All my days, I filled it up with same activities. I might smile in front of you guys but inside, no one knows how it hurts. Maybe, I was born to pretend.

Next week was my precious 25 June. I want to get married with an old Englishman. With 60s hairstyle. Goddamn he’s hot. Pretty cool huh.

Why I tend to choose old man, rather than young Malay man who just own a salary and forget everything before he owns a salary? This is because, oh damn it, cant you just read the second sentences up there? Thank god, you're leaving me. But still, people thought that I'm the one who leave you. Let it go Syahadah, it’s all over now.

I’m not just talking about man here. I talk about everyone including myself and the other me. Half woman and a horse, that’s so me. Because I’m just an old lady with stupid silly hairstyle and wear brown shorts.