Selamat Tahun Baru

My very first entry for 2012, though no one cares.

Holla 2012, I heard people are talking shit about you. Saying that you gonna be the last new year we would celebrate. People are talking shit about you dude. If I were in your shoes, I would kick them in their face and break their nose. Okay that sounds horrible. 2012, even though people bad mouthing about you, I hope you ain't treat me the way you treat them. Please don't break my heart. I shouldn't say this to you, I should pray to God please make me stronger to face 2012's upcoming troubles.

Overall in 2011, everything went balanced. There're some months where I feel so happy until I forget where I am. He treat me nicely and there're also some months where that motherfucker treat me so bad until I feel like cutting his head off. 2011 also were the best year where I finally found my happiness, which is here, at home. What do you deeply feel when you're in the middle of someone's relationship. Is it guilty? That was my most terrible moment ever in 2011, and I hope that everything will vanish in 2012. Please! To be honest until now I still can't forget what you guys did to me. It's awful.

I take back my words, smartphone did not kill anything. It depends on us, how we spend our time with the loved one. Okay this is so bias.

I hope Gemuk would get pregnant this year. Hihi


I am not that lucky, I am lucky but you're luckier than me. I wish I was you sometimes because you're not depending on anyone. You’re depending on yourself. Yes sometimes deep inside your broken heart you're lonely, because you need someone to cure all the wounds but you have to be grateful to Him because He let you live your life by not depending on others. Unlike me who just too broke to break up. Yes, I admit. I am too broke and that is why I need someone to fill up everything for me. It's not like we're using people, it's just one brilliant way for a better life.

Goodbye is the hardest, but if you really want to please wait until my SPM ends, then we'll go to our own path. I'd choose the other road where we'll not meet each other anymore and you'll be free, for good.

There is no point putting my cats picture into this post. Hehh



Aku ada empat ekor kucing, sebenarnya lima tetapi Anje Seyh dah arwah. RIP Anje. Antara empat ekor ini, aku paling ngam dengan Putih atau nama timang-timangannya 'Jerry'

Bulan lepas, dia sakit pada bahagian belakang, atau dalam bahasa kasarnya JUBO. Bernanah tempat tu, aku letak minyak gamat aje. Dalam dua hari dah okay. Hampir ke klinik, mak nasihat sapu minyak aje. Kos perubatan agak tinggi.

Baru dua hari lepas, aku perasan perubahan Putih. Dia mula tak makan dan lemah sahaja. Kemudian, semalam aku tengok dia dah terbaring dan air liur penuh di mulut. Malahan, air mata beliau berlinangan. Aku terus bawa dia tidur dengan aku malam itu. Aku tak tidur, aku jaga dia. Dia membuang najisnya di cadar kesayangan aku pun, aku tak kisah.

Jam 6.20 pagi, aku keluar dan buka pintu pagar rumah. Aku nak bakar cadar aku yang dah kotor tu. Mak pula terbangun dan dia kata 'Harini kita bawa Utih pergi klinik ya' Dalam jam 3 aku pergi Klinik di Ayer Keroh.

Doktor kata Utih kena virus yang paling teruk sekali. Doctor inject Utih dan bagi beliau ubat antibiotik. Doktor bagi ubat pil dan air antibiotik. Sehari sekali. Pil ada lima biji, lima hari sahaja. Dalam kereta, Utih mengiauu kasihan. Jika Utih sihat, mulut dia yang paling memekak. Humphhh I miss his voice

Utih, please play like usual. I miss you. So much.



Oh myy, what happen to me? My mind, body and soul is unbalance and not well functioning. I am fucking unstable until you can found there's a lot of typo in my writing. Distinctly shows that I'm not okay. I cursed a lot and turned out to be someone who really negative. I'm no more positive like before. I think too much maybe. People easily said “babe, you need rest” that was so easy to give such advise but do they know that our mind will never stop thinking and our heartbeat never rest until we die. I tell you one thing, it is hard to be a woman.


With me and talk about big love
I think we're superstars, you say you think we are the best thing

It really happen. I still remember you just a friend of mine, and I never thought it would really happen. I believe in love, I believe in you. Because you,

Just know

You just do.

And me, still remember the first day I know you, pretty awkward, I don't know you. Who the hell are you? And now, after few months knowing a man like no one would ever know, I know you. I feel so special, like no one could ever feel when be friend with you. You treat me nicely. I tell you honestly, I don't trust man. But you, you have all the answers why I trust you.

I love you.